By Eric Zanzucchi (@ericzanzucchi)
No one story struck a cord with me today and the news cycle was pretty slow. However, several stories were worth a wisecrack or two and here they are:
In 1958 the U.S. was working on a plan to nuke the moon called Project A-119 A.K.A. Project Sensible. The project was designed to intimidate the Russians while learning about our weapons capabilities in space. It was eventually abandoned over concerns about the radioactivity of the moon. After all, settlers were going to be headed to the moon within the next few decades.
On Monday, New York City had a murder-free day for the “first time in memory”. Or so they think, balks the Staten Island Strangler from his mother’s attic.
Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are supposed to have lunch together at the White House on Thursday. They will be meeting for the first time since Obama ruined Romney’s life.
Lastly, everyone is all gay for Powerball because there is close to a record jackpot ($550 Million). Folks, state lotteries are the biggest scam in gambling. They only put about 50% of the take back into the prize pool. For anyone who buys lottery tickets regularly: Save that money and when you have $100 just go to the local casino and put it all on black. In general, you will be way happier with the results. You’ll be considered a degenerate, but you’ll get more of your money back.