County Jail Turns E Block Into Gas Chamber

By Eric Zanzucchi (@ericzanzucchi)

There was a carbon monoxide gas leak at a county jail near Philadelphia Wednesday night sending 50 female inmates to local hospitals. Since carbon monoxide is odorless the leak wasn’t caught until the inmates began showing symptoms. Investigators still haven’t found the cause of the leak.

Prisoners are known for filing frivolous lawsuits, but in this case 50 of them were sent to the hospital. I have a solution for prison officials that could help them preemptively avoid a lawsuit: The Boyfriend Pillow.

The Boyfriend Pillow is a large pillow that is shaped like the torso of a man with a pillow arm to spoon with. Their own website describes the product as such:

“The Boyfriend Body Pillow is a pillow you will love to cuddle with. As any woman, you want to feel the embrace of a real man, but would like to avoid the snoring, smell, tossing and turning. That is the reason this pillow is perfect for you! The Boyfriend Body Pillow resembles the torso of a big strong man with a comforting arm that cuddles you.”

These women haven’t seen a man in months and probably enjoyed their carbon monoxide high. Just give them the pillows and have them sign something. Nobody sues, everybody wins.