They’re Not Just Under Bridges Anymore

By Eric Zanzucchi (@ericzanzucchi)

Who are the people that criticize what they read on the internet all day? Since I’m not one of those people, it remains a mystery to me. I’m simply too busy in my life to spend a significant portion of my day hating on people online.

Discovery #1: Internet Trolls have a lot of free time.

Obviously we have this barrier called the computer screen. The people who troll can do this anonymously. While I attach my name to everything I write, they can post their meaningless criticisms under the pseudonym anonymous01268 and say something like, “dis is da wrrst thang I ever seen”.

Discovery #2: Internet Trolls are cowards.

I don’t say anything over the internet that I wouldn’t say to someone’s face. It’s crazy how many threats there are on internet forums with people saying stuff like, “man if we were in the same room right now I’d beat your ass”. The other party would give a response like, “bring it on douchebag”. Both parties of course are fully aware that they’ll never actually fight.

Discovery #3: Internet Trolls are shit talking cowards.

I’m guess I’m just old fashioned, I’m 27. I remember a time when the internet didn’t exist. Plenty of people told other people to fuck off, but it was with the unwritten understanding that those are fighting words and they might get their ass beat. Being an internet troll is like being the Pope in the Popemobile. That computer screen makes you bulletproof.